Season’s Greetings? Bah! Humbug!
It’s projected that teams within the St. Louis-based men’s and women’s roller derby leagues are more than likely to administer “Season’s Beatings” against their chosen opponents this weekend.
The Arch Rival Roller Girls (ARRG) and GateKeepers Roller Derby (GKRD) present its monthly twin-bill this Saturday at Midwest Sport Hockey at Queeny Park (570 Weidman Rd., Ballwin, MO.) Doors open at 6 pm and the first game launches at 6:30 pm.
In the opener featuring GKRD, the Riverfront Crimes (0-0) battle defending “Turf Wars” kingpins, the South Grand Slammers (1-0). That contest will be followed by the ARRG legacy battle featuring the M-80s (0-1) against the Stunt Devils (0-0).
In round two of each league’s respective six-event regular season, both match-ups provide plenty of intrigue as the “squads on quads” that make their season debuts this weekend look to sit atop their respective league’s hierarchy after the final whistle is blown.
Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell
The Riverfront Crimes, last year’s “Turf Wars” runner-up, are poised for a quick sprint out of the gates with the jamming rotation of Debaucherous Prime, Screech Around, the Saint and Awfulsauce while blockers Bled Zepplin, Skulls McCrackin, BA Blokenstein, mrPINK, Walker Hamilton and Dago Whomp lay down the foundation.
The Crimes last won the “Turf Wars” title in 2013. They’ll make a hard charge for a 2015 trophy trip with a win, but their opponent looks to quash that dream and take a substantial lead in the league standings.
Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell
The South Grand Slammers opened eyes last month at Queeny Park with a 183-85 season-opening victory over the Dogtown Rockets. Jammer Hand Rail topped the Slammers’ ledger with 63 points while D Mouthful and Indecent Exposure contributed 60 points apiece.
As even as that scoring was, the standouts from November were the solid blocking battalion, paced by Neil Death Experience, Inquadable Hulk, Double Excel, Sweet Tooth, Spin Deisel, Percy Controll, Gnat King Kill and Fruit Wallup. With its intimidating size and speed, the defending champs could potentially seize a commanding 2-0 record in the “Turf Wars” standings at game’s end.
The women’s match-up is highly anticipated because of the output of the red-clad squad at the November ARRG season opener and the mysteries surrounding the team donning purple that makes its local 2014-15 debut.
Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell
The M-80s suffered a 219-187 setback to two-time defending champions the Smashinistas last month but, in the process, really impressed. Without starting jammer Molecular Mayhem in the line-up, and with a roster featuring six new skaters, the firecrackers battled back from numerous deficits throughout and kept the final differential tight.
Jammer IDA the Living Dead posted 64 points in the November contest while blockers by trade Party Foul, Jamheiser Bush, Tupac Shank-her and Science Friction scored high numbers while engaged with dual responsibilities. Blockers Rhino-Might, The Ginger Assassin, Warpath O’ Jen, eZe, Carmina Piranha, Sp!ce Rack and Betty Blaster also showed that they were more than ready to accept any challenge.
Stunt Devils’ addition Bricktator. Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell
The Stunt Devils, who finished third in the league last season, counters Saturday with arguably the most anticipated off-season acquisition in the league’s nine- year history: Bricktator, a transfer from San Francisco, CA-based powerhouse B.ay A.rea D.erby. The internationally-recognized jammer was the MVP of the Salt Lake City round of the 2014 Women’s Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA) International Playoffs in September and helped her squad finish third overall at the WFTDA Championships in Nashville last month.
Although the Stunts’ leading scorer from last year, Mighty Mighty Boston, will be absent from Saturday’s line-up, there’s still plenty of top-notch talent to be found scoring-wise with multi-year vet Chokehold Chanel and Shear-Ra Powers, an off-season addition from the recently-dissolved Rebel Skate Alliance.
Returning starters Mayor Francis Slayer, Grave Danger, Morgan LeFaetal, Danisaurus Rex and Yo-Adrianna are set for blocking duties alongside new additions Ninja Sass’Em, a transfer from the St. Chux Derby Chix, former RSA blocker Orange Ya’ Sorry and league newcomers Smack A’NOVA and Soundproof.
General admission tickets for the double-header are $15 at the door while children 10 and under are free. For advance discounted tickets purchased online, GO TO THIS LINK.
For more information on the Arch Rival Roller Girls, go to archrivalrollergirls.com.
For more information on GateKeepers Roller Derby, go to stlgatekeepers.com.
Here is the November edition of the “STL Derby Rewind,” which features a recap of the action from the season’s opener and analysis of this Saturday’s double-header:
