(STATE COLLEGE, PA) They came. They skated. They conquered.
Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell
One wasn’t surprised that St. Louis-based Arch Rival Roller Derby All-Stars won the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA) North American Northeast playoffs held this weekend.
The top seed from St. Louis was easily favored to take home a gold medal and advance to the governing body’s global championships later this November.
However, what was somewhat surprising was just how dominant the play was and how overwhelming the scores turned out to be.
In their three games over the weekend, ARCH collectively outscored their opponents 992-129, which included Sunday’s 245-76 victory over #2 Montreal in the championship game.
Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell
Jamming was paced by Vicious Van GoGo, Bricktator, Jedi Knight-N-Gale, Pork T’Choup Slamwich, Hart and Annie Swanson.
Blocking was propelled by K. Woodward – who won Most Valuable Player honors for the playoff – as well as LuxFurious, Shear-Ra Powers, Cloak N’ Drag-Her, Bolt Action, Splatter, dad bod, Eirinn Go Brawl, Cruella, Pegasass, Birdsong, Slaythoven and Sheesh.
With the sweep, ARCH improved to 5-0 in 2024.
This weekend was the first of six playoff weekends that funnel to the WFTDA Global Championships, set for November 1-3 in Portland, Oregon.
SUNDAY CHAMPIONSHIP
ARCH RIVAL ALL-STARS 245Â MONTREAL NEW SKIDS ON THE BLOCKÂ 76
The battle between side-by-side seeds in the finale was super-tight early.
Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell
Trailing 12-0 after the opening jam, Montreal jammer Falcon Punch posted an 8-4 rotation that shored the score to 16-8. Miracle Whips added three on the next rotation as Les New Skids whittled ARCH’s margin to 16-11.
St. Louis claimed eight straight off the next two jams and extended their lead to 24-11 with 21:00 left in the period.
Montreal countered back with a 12-4 jam from Punch that narrowed the score to 28-23.
ARCH’s Bricktator notched four on the next rotation that extended ARCH’s lead to 32-23.
Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell
Montreal made the contest a solo-point affair in Jam 8 after Shear-Ra Shakes’ eight-point tally made the score 32-31. That would be the closest the second seed would get to gold.
ARCH blocking put the clamp down and started rolling off points quickly. Up 51-42, Bricktator collected a 24-point power jam that widened the score to 76-43 with 7:01 left in the period.
Leading 95-49 with about five minutes remaining in the half, ARCH finished strong with a 23-0 rally. Concluded by Van GoGo’s seven-pointer, the top seed sported an 118-49 lead at intermission.
It was a foreshadowing of things to come. ARCH started the second period with a 74-0 sprint that secured the win.
Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell
Ten minutes deep into the period, Brickator’s 19-pointer pushed the score to 183-49. When the stretch run concluded, St. Louis had widened their lead to 192-49.
ARCH outscored Montreal in the second half 127-27 to pick up the tourney sweep and the gold medal. Bricktator and Swanson tied for points with 84 each.
SATURDAY SEMIFINAL
ARCH RIVAL ALL-STARS 333Â Â WINDY CITY ROLLERS 11
ARCH’s Saturday semifinal win over #4 Windy City did not take long to be claimed. St. Louis raced out to a 101-0 lead as GoGo’s 16-pointer scored with 11:00 left in the first period pushed the top seed over triple-digits.
Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell
After Windy City broke the goose egg in Jam 12, Arch Rival scored another 50 straight. Bricktator notched 19 in the penultimate jam that widened the score to 151-3.
Knight-N-Gale’s period-finishing 12-4 rotation extended ARCH’s lead to 163-7 at intermission.
St. Louis’ blocking continued their stellar work in the second half and churned 114 points uncontested.
Slamwich’s seven-point pickup five minutes deep extended ARCH’s lead to 200-7.
Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell
ARCH hurdled over the 300-point mark after Knight-N-Gale’s 16 point grab deep in the second half.
Arch Rival outscored Windy City in the second half, 170-7, to advance to the weekend’s gold medal game and clinch a global champs berth.
Van GoGo topped ARCH scoring with 87 points followed by Bricktator’s 73.
FRIDAY QUARTERFINAL
ARCH RIVAL ALL STARS 414Â QUEEN CITY LAKE EFFECT FURIES 42
ARCH’s Friday quarterfinal game saw the squad utilize a 123-0 first-period sprint en route to a overwhelming win over #8 Queen City, who advanced to the Friday early evening match-up after narrowly dispatching #9 Ann Arbor 166-158 mere hours earlier.
Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell
St. Louis’ 414 points in the contest was the All-Stars’ third-highest recorded in team history. The current high mark is 453 points scored against Calgary at Spring Roll in May 2015.
But push that math away for a moment. ARCH sprinted out to a 32-0 lead after two jams. Queen City notched a 16-4 rotation in Jam 3 to shore the score to 36-16 and a 4-4 push in Jam 4 made the contest a 2:1 ratio seven minutes deep, 40-20.
Arch Rival then dominated over the next eleven jams that resulted in the triple-digit uncontested streak. Van GoGo’s 27-point power jam at the 17:40 mark widened their lead to 84-20.
Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell
Later, Swanson’s 19-point power jam at the 11-minute mark extended the score to 127-20.
Slamwich’s eight-pointer scored with six minutes left in the half finished the rally as ARCH possessed a 163-20 cushion.
The top seed finished the period with a 63-4 run. Back-to-back 24- pointers from Van GoGo and Bricktator resulted in the squad’s 226-24 lead at intermission.
In the second half, ARCH pushed their game total to over 300 points following Van GoGo’s 23-point strike midway through the period that expanded the top-seed’s lead to 316-35.
The onslaught continued deep with back-to-back 19-pointers from Bricktator and Hart with under four minutes remaining.
Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell
ARCH outscored Queen City 166-18 in the second period to collect the 414-42 quarterfinal win.
Van GoGo topped St. Louis scoring with 118 points, followed by Swanson’s 109 to advance the team’s placement to Saturday’s semifinal round.
ARCH OVERALL TOURNEY SCORING (3 GAMES)
Annie Swanson 252, Vicious Van GoGo 250, Bricktator 244, Jedi Knight-N-Gale 96, Pork T’Choup Slamwich 71, Hart 68.
By trade, he is a six-time, regional Emmy Award-winning news videographer/editor for KTVI/KPLR-TV. By hobby, he is a writer for Arch City Media, dating back to February 2014. Emphasis is on featuring and promoting local women's sports, but will cover anything that is not reported by traditional media outlets. Also a contributor to local concert reviews.
