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COMO Roller Derby Claims Season-Opening Sweep

Wins Over Travel Teams From Arch Rival and SCDC Launches '24 Campaign

by Brian Ledford

(HALLSVILLE, MO) – For COMO Roller Derby, Saturday’s home opener turned out as well as it could have.

Photo Credit: Brian Ledford

The Columbia-based collective’s respective travel teams posted strong victories over representatives from St. Louis-based Arch Rival Roller Derby and St. Charles-based SCDC for a two-game sweep at Bob LeMone Building at Hallsville Fairgrounds.

The main event saw the COMO All-Stars claim a 177-53 triumph over ARCH’s Fleur-De-Linquents while the opener had the COMO B-Rolls post a 225-119 duke over SCDC.

Both wins by the hosts were propelled by strong opening halves offensively and stubborn defenses perpetually.

As this was also COMO’s season opener, the pair of successes was the cherry on top for their 2024 launch. The league continues their home campaign at Bob LeMone April 27.

Meanwhile, either ARCH’s Fleur De Linquents or SCDC are guaranteed their first win the next go-around as the pair meets each other April 20 at Midwest Sport Hockey at Queeny Park.


Saturday’s finale was hard to project on paper pre-game, and scoring was tight early, but COMO’s 28-0 rally late in the first period penned a narrative that carried over into the second half.

Photo Credit: Brian Ledford

Additional stretches of 32-0 and 35-0 in the back frame inevitably resulted in the 124-point win.

“It was good for our team to kick off our season with a W and we’re grateful for that,” said COMO’s Vanna WipeOut after the game. “I love the attitude of Arch Rival. They did a great job and kept it clean and competitive. They gave us a hard time and we loved it.”

“We didn’t feel like the scoreboard reflected how we played,” countered ARCH FDL co-captain Warpath O’ Jen. “We’re really proud of how we played together, so we’re just going to work together, learn, and grow from here.”

COMO never trailed in the contest and held a 20-8 lead seven minutes deep following JoCo’s four-point pass.

ARCH sliced the deficit to 20-12 following newcomer Donna Diablo’s four-point jam on the next rotation. COMO countered with four of their own as Tornado Aly’s points in Jam 10 pushed the score to 24-12.

Photo Credit: Brian Ledford

As the period progressed, COMO slowly widened differential and extended their lead to 37-19 with Lady MacDeath’s six-pointer recorded with 12:20 left in the first period.

Fleur-De-Linquent jammer Hell Spellz claimed a pair of points in Jam 18 that kept ARCH within striking distance, 37-21, with 11:25 remaining.

COMO then became a buzz-saw, netting nine consecutive lead jams. With strong blocking paced by WipeOut, Red Reaper, dethblok, Mesch‘er Up, Q.T. Kilr, L on Wheels, Mayday and Behr, the All-Stars churned the aforementioned 28-0 rally that was punctuated by Weird Al Shank-A-Bitch’s four-pointer on the period’s penultimate jam that made the score 65-21.

“Our jammers are really strong, and they showed it, but our walls are also really strong,” assessed Wipeout. “We kept their offense at bay.”

ARCH was able to post-points in the final jam as Diablo notched a pair that resulted in a 65-23 score that favored COMO at intermission.

Photo Credit: Brian Ledford

The FDLs knew that they had their work cut out for them in the second half.

“In the locker room, we discussed just trying to help our jammers a little bit more,” assessed ARCH’s Warpath O’ Jen. “Just getting them out of the pack, helping them and playing a little more offense.”

COMO collected back-to-back four-pointers in the final frame’s opening rotations to extend their lead to 73-23. An 8-4 post recorded by JoCo in Jam 3 pushed the score to 81-27.

Thanks to solid blocker walls, COMO went on a 32-0 run over the next seven jams. Highlighted by JoCo’s 13-point power jam at the 20:00 mark, the hosts’ lead blossomed to 113-27 with sixteen minutes left.

Photo Credit: Brian Ledford

ARCH jammer Thrasher stopped the streak with a four-pointer scored at the period’s midway mark, making the score 114-31.

To their credit, the Fleur-De-Linquents refused to wave the white flag as blockers Sin, Fly-By-Birdie, Allisin Wonderbra, Art Brute, Atropos, Strawberry MILFShake, Comet, Natural Disaster, Machine Gun Maggie, Slamrock and Catra gamely tried to keep the differential under triple-digits.

COMO’s 35-0 rally down the stretch, highlighted by Q.T. Kilr’s 11-pointer collected with eight minutes left, secured the duke.

COMO outscored the FDLs in the second period, 112-30, to claim the 177-55 victory. Shank-A-Bitch paced topped scoring with 60 points, followed by JoCo’s 41.

The squad plans to use the season opening win for momentum going into an April 6 road clash with Southern Illinois Roller Gremlins.

“We hope to take that to them in two weeks,” anticipated Wipeout.

Photo Credit: Brian Ledford

ARCH was led in scoring by Diablo’s 28 points in her flat-track debut.

“She was really nervous for this game, her first game,” said Warpath O’ Jen. “She’s been trying to go against our higher-team level practices and I think that helped her.”

The group readily realizes that they have to work on a couple of aspects prior to their April 20 home meeting with SCDC but team bonding is still the top priority.

“We have so much fun together,” the co-captain said. “We keep a positive attitude on the bench and I think that’s everything.”


Photo Credit: Brian Ledford

COMO ALL-STARS (177): Weird Al Shank-A-Bitch 60, JoCo 41, Lady MacDeath 29, Tornado Aly 28, Q.T. Kilr’ 11, Fice-T 8.

ARCH FLEUR-DE-LINQUNETS (55): Donna Diablo 28, Thrasher 11, Hell Spellz 9, Warpath O’ Jen 4, Fly-By-Birdie 1.


Heading into their first game of the season, SCDC were fully aware they that had a mighty challenge ahead against a full-time COMO line-up. They constructed a 15-skater complexion that had a combination of league members alongside some fostered players from the area that supplemented.

Photo Credit: Brian Ledford

Altogether, the team posted triple-digits Saturday and had a higher point output in the second period, which should be considered a victory in and of itself.

“We did so well for a lot of new people,” said SCDC blocker Sailor Goon afterwards. “We had a lot of fosters that we don’t play with, so it was super-chaotic. Everybody, in my opinion, did their best job in just staying upbeat and having fun. COMO’s a really hard team for us and everybody just stayed out there and nobody got upset.”

Leading 22-10 after four jams, COMO’s B-Rolls notched a dozen straight points. Following Pushy Kat’s trey in Jam 5, jammer Rose McPow’n collected a nine-point power jam at the 22-minute mark that pushed the score to 34-10.

Photo Credit: Brian Ledford

As the period progressed, separate baker’s dozen jams from Kat and GenStoner widened COMO’s lead to 64-22 at period midpoint, thanks to blocking from Space Case, Coffin Cutie, Breezy, Stinger, Butcherin’ Baker, Queen and a host of others.

Trailing 88-25 with under ten minutes left in the period, SCDC was able to mount their own offensive surge. Cruella DeKill’s eight-point jam with 6:50 left shored the score to 88-33. Additional eight-point scores from STAG and Cup-A-TNT also assisted.

COMO held a 112-50 lead at intermission and scored four in the opening jam of the second period with McPow’n’s four-pointer, but SCDC countered with a dozen straight.

Photo Credit: Brian Ledford

With help from Goon, Dimebag Cheryl, Killipso, Trekkie Monster, Ella Trick Mayhem, Blue, Bennie Drillz, Bomber Betty, Zoomies and Swamp Smasher, SCDC narrowed COMO’s lead to 116-62 with 25:00 remaining.

COMO stymied the momentum as Pushy Kat’s 20-4 power jam on the next rotation widened their lead to 136-66 with 23:40 left.

As the game continued, SCDC showed signs of offense as jammer Slam-I-Am collected 21 second-half points while Cup-A-TNT recorded a dozen.

“I really anticipated us getting tired in the second half, but our anxiety just lowered,” reflected Goon. “People were having a little more fun because we are just goofy and we promised each other not to look at the scoreboard.”

Photo Credit: Brian Ledford

COMO jammer Bury Jane notched four points with about eight minutes left to push the hosts past the bicentennial mark, 202-107.

COMO B-Rolls outscored SCDC in the second period, 113-69, to claim the 225-119 home-opening victory.

DeKill topped SCDC scoring with 36 points, followed by TNT’s 28.

SCDC’s Goon, who picked Most Valuable Blocker honors for the game, says they look forward to the April 20 match-up against ARCH’s Fleur-De-Linquents.

“The FDLs are a whole new ball game,” they said. “We learned from this game that offense is a really big thing and we’re going to have to get really better at it. So, taking hits and giving hits, making hits on friends and them hitting us, that’s the biggest thing.”

Photo Credit: Brian Ledford


COMO B-Rolls (225): Pushy Kat 103, Rose McPow’n 40, GenStoner 36, Space N’ Vader 26, Bury Jane 20.

SCDC I (119): Cruella DeKill 36, Cup-A-TNT 28, STAG 25, SLAM I AM 21, Trekkie Monster 6, Blue 3.

By trade, he is a six-time, regional Emmy Award-winning news videographer/editor for KTVI/KPLR-TV. By hobby, he is a writer for Arch City Media, dating back to February 2014. Emphasis is on featuring and promoting local women's sports, but will cover anything that is not reported by traditional media outlets. Also a contributor to local concert reviews.

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