What NOT to do on a Baseball Date

Cardinals’ batters hit three bombs off of Diamondbacks’ pitching last night. Holliday’s was the first, a bullet he teed off Trevor Cahill in the 6th inning, to break open a 1-1 game. The ball was low and outside, and he bent down to get it. One could have sworn that it was just a routine liner to left, but it cleared the wall. Sheer brilliance.

Pete Kozma and Jon Jay then turned around and took Heath Bell waaaay deep in the 7th. Jay’s homerun almost hit the top of the foul pole in right, while Kozma’s landed on a poor girl’s neck/face area. Not sure if they were trying to hit anything, but eureka! They found something.

This morning I was watching the local news here in KC, and I saw the replay of the Kozma homerun where the guy jumped out of the way in order to let a ball hit his lady friend. I had seen it originally last night during the telecast of the game. Second go-round: not pretty.  For the Cardinals’ game to make it onto the KC news without it being the playoffs, it must be real news.  Well, like the news story that featured the squirrel surfing, but nonetheless it made headlines here on the westside.

The way I see it, there’s a couple of different defenses this guy could use. 1) He was looking so deeply into the girl’s eyes, he had no clue a ball was coming anywhere near her, and therefore was caught off-guard and jumped; or 2) hey, he took the girl on a date to a baseball game, she should have been paying attention. As a fellow female-baseball fan, I’m a little disappointed in the girl. When somebody says, “Heads up!” you look up. Seriously.

Poor guy. I feel really sorry for him. His baseball dating days may be over. It reminds me of the “Friends” episode (stay with me, people) where Joey protected Ross from the “shot fired” (aka car backfiring).  In reality (well, sitcom reality), he was just protecting his sandwich. Wonder what kind of sandwich this kid was protecting.

I’m going to go ahead and take a guess that he’s probably not going to take a date to a baseball game again. Let’s hope, for his sake, Arizona isn’t home to too many single girls that caught the game.