A pair of local flat-track roller derby leagues will send their respective travel teams I-70 westbound this weekend in hopes of collecting season-opening victories.
St. Louis-based Arch Rival Roller Derby (ARCH) and St. Charles-based SCDC fields “squads on quads” against the interleague representatives of Columbia’s COMO Roller Derby Saturday at Bob LeMone Building at the Hallsville Fairgrounds (500 E Hwy OO, Hallsville, MO.)
In the opener that begins at 4:30 pm, St. Chux’s primary collective tussles with COMO’s B-Rolls.
Then in the main event that follows, Arch Rival’s Fleur De-Linquents, billed as the league’s C-team, tangles with the COMO All-Stars.
For all competing Saturday, this will be their first showdowns played this year after getting back into full-time play in 2023.
As anticipated, the visiting leagues are champing at the bit for the launch.
“We are extremely excited to play our first game,” said ARCH Fleur De-Linquents co-captain Warpath O’ Jen. “A lot of the skaters are a bit nervous. It’s been since August since we have had a game together, but the league has been able to provide us some focused practices for us to get reacquainted with each other.”
Photo Credit: Jeff Higgins
“I think we’re excited to have more games on the schedule for this year,” added SCDC President Trekkie Monster. “Our newer skaters have been making great progress, and we’re excited to welcome them on the track.”
For the host league, having two full factions competing prior to the first whistle automatically makes their own docket special.
“We are so excited that the league has grown enough to be able to support a full A and B team’s season,” said COMO President and B-Rolls’ blocker Space Case. “We want to start strong and carry that forward throughout the season.”
“We’re pumped to kick off 2024,” added COMO A-team member Vanna. “We are feeling ready to test out what we’ve been working on and get some real-time feedback on the track.”
There’s plenty of intrigue in Saturday’s finale as Arch Rival’s Fleur-De-Linquents – a roster consisting of tenured and upcoming skaters as well as transfers from other roller derby leagues – finished last season 2-1 in exhibition play. Their 227-93 victory over Springfield last May was the team’s high point.
Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell
“As always, the FDLs main goal is skater development, working together as a team, maintaining a positive attitude on the bench, and providing ample play time for each player on the bench,” said Warpath O’ Jen.
Alongside the co-captain, ARCH’s 15-skater roster includes returnees Sin, Strawberry MILFShake, Thrasher, Lisa Shank, Fly By Birdie, Natural Disaster, Art Brute, Hell Spellz, Slamrock, Atropos, Alisin Wonderbra and Comet.
Newcomers MachineGun Maggie and Donna Diablo make their respective FDL debuts while veterans Spider Monkey and Betty White Trash are on standby as alternates.
Meanwhile COMO’s All-Stars, the league’s primary travel team, finished 2-2 last season, which included a similar triple-digit win over Springfield (181-71) last June.
Regardless of Saturday’s outcome, the host has a primary mission this year.
Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell
“We’re COMO, so our number one goal is to have fun!” said Vanna. “We love roller derby and want to make sure that our visiting leagues, fans, officials, announcers, skaters, and volunteers have a positive experience. As an All-Star Team, we are focused on building endurance, being flexible on the track, and keeping penalties at a minimum.”
On COMO A-team’s roster alongside Vanna are Fice-T, Red Reaper, JoCo, Mesch ‘er Up, Q.T. Kilr, L on Wheels, Rose McPow’n, Mayday, Behr, dethblok, Tornado Aly, Lady MacDeath, Weird Al Shank A Bitch and Pushy Kat.
The last time COMO met ARCH’s FDLs, they claimed an opening-round victory at the St. Louis league’s “Queeny Quad Quake” tournament in December 2019 and went on to claim top-prize at the bracketed scramble.
Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell
“We still have the trophy and would welcome the opportunity to put it up for competition again,” exclaimed Vanna. “The Queeny Quad Quake was a fun match-up. We are hoping for some good skill level alignment this year. That way, we can all have a good time playing roller derby while helping each other level up.”
“We have a lot of different skaters on our team, and I assume they do as well,” countered ARCH’s Warpath O’ Jen. “From my experience in the past, COMO is a competitive team, but I’ve enjoyed playing against them.”
Saturday’s opener also finds both competitors looking to open eyes. SCDC only played one travel game in 2023, a setback to the Rolla Rockets last June, but optimism abounds with the return of some seasoned veterans alongside some highly-charged newcomers.
“We’ll be focusing more on recruitment over the summer, but for this spring, we’re focusing on prepping current and newer skaters for contact and gameplay,” St Chux’s Trekkie Monster said.
Photo Credit: SCDC Official Facebook
As of this publishing, SCDC’s roster is still being assembled but Monster wanted to acknowledge trackmate Killipso, whose tenure with the league began in 2019, but due to the pandemic and an injury once team operations resumed was never able to compete in an organized game. That is, until Saturday night.
“She’s arguably the most excited for this game,” said the SCDC President.
There plans to be zero internal pressure on the St. Charles-based league that celebrates their 15th year in the sport this season.
“No expectations,” said Trekkie Monster. “I keep telling everyone, ‘There is no scoreboard.’ We’re here to improve and learn.”
COMO’s B-Rolls played one game last season, and suffered a setback, but looks to post some positive trajectory. This will be the inaugural meeting between the pair.
“We have some players on the team who will be making their COMO debut,” said Space Case. “We are focused on having strong lines and making quick switches to offense.”
On the squad alongside Space Case includes Queen, Q.T. Kilr, Sunny, Breezy, Butcher, Bury Jane, Coffin, Doc, Evil Z, Pushy Kat, Vader, Stoner, Rose and Singer.
At the end of the evening, the objective is to give all dedicated skaters, regardless of length of tenure or skillset, the opportunity to compete, stride-by-stride, in the flat-track sport that each love.
“The goal is to help our ARCH skaters who want to progress and play on our other travel teams (All-Stars & Nemesis) to have a smoother transition,” said FDL co-captain Warpath O’ Jen.
Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell
“The score doesn’t matter as long as we come away from the track with more knowledge and experience than when we arrived,” added SCDC’s Trekkie Monster.
“This is the first time, in a while, that we’ve had enough skaters to form both A and B teams, which is awesome,” said COMO All-Stars’ Vanna. “It’s given us a great blend of veterans and new recruits to roster this year.”
“We’re hoping to have a competitive game that brings up everyone’s skill level,” added COMO B-Rolls’ Space Case. “We can’t wait to host SCDC!”
And everyone cannot wait to see you there in attendance for support!
Tickets for the double header are $15 while children 10 and under get in free.
For more information on the event, go to COMO’s official website.
For more information on ARCH, go to their official website.
For more information on SCDC, go to their official website.
Arch City Media will have a full recap of the event posted Monday.
By trade, he is a six-time, regional Emmy Award-winning news videographer/editor for KTVI/KPLR-TV. By hobby, he is a writer for Arch City Media, dating back to February 2014. Emphasis is on featuring and promoting local women's sports, but will cover anything that is not reported by traditional media outlets. Also a contributor to local concert reviews.
