Boy oh boy…do we love lists! Every kind of list. To do, To don’t, Top 5, Top 10, Ultimates, Best of, Worst of…You name em! We love em! But there’s one list that seems to reign supreme….
THE MOUNT RUSHMORE!!
So here we go…time to make some friends…start some fights…and dive into the completely nonsensical recesses of my mind. Buckle up friends…and please God please lose your sh&t all over the place.
Sports, Food and Bev, Parks, Music…some random stuff
The criteria for people and places making any of these Mount Rushmores is four fold;
Fame, Dedication to the STL, Complete resume of accomplishments, how much I like you.
Let’s start square in the middle of my wheelhouse, SPORTS!!!
This was the toughest of the tough. Our Redbirds have been a way of life since Chester A. Arthur was in office. How do you pull four names from all that history? It was not easy, but by god I got it done.
Four faces carved into stone
- Stan Musial: He is the Cardinals…period
- Bob Gibson: Any objections? I thought not
- Red Schoendienst: Forever in Cardinal red, Rings as a player and a manager…beloved by all
- Yadier Molina: 2 rings, 4 pennants, 9 Gold Gloves, 4 Platinum Gloves, 1 Silver Slugger, 9 time All-Star, Roberto Clemente Award Winner, most neck tats per square inch in club history.
Honorable mentions to Joe Ducky Medwick, Jesse Haines, Lou Brock, Ozzie Smith, Willie McGee, Ray Lankford, Albert Pujols, and Adam Wainwright
Good God listen to that crack of the bat
- Bob Plager: One of the first
- Bernie Federko: The second greatest
- Brett Hull: THE Greatest
- Ryan O’Reilly: The leader of the Cup…
Honorable mentions to Jordan Binnington, Adam Oates, Al McInnis, Bob Bassen and of course…the Cavalinni Brothers
- JoJo White: Gold Medal winner, 2 rings with the Celtics, STL GOAT
- Anthony Bonner: Billiken GOAT, Lottery Pick, is boys with Charles Oakley
- Larry Hughes: That crossover is still filthy
- Jayson Tatum: Dude is going to win multiple rings and MVPs
Honorable mentions to Bradley Beal, Erwin “the Venice Menace” Claggett, Ed Macauley, and Bill Bradley
Athletes from Various Sports
- Jackie Joyner Kersee: The greatest pure athlete this area has ever produced.
- Chuck McKinley: Won Wimbledon singles in 1963, and Doubles at the US Open 3 times
- Jimmy Conners: Despite being a well known a-hole…he does have 8 Grand Slams and the most wins in Men’s Tennis history.
- Michael Spinks: Gold Medal winner, multi-division title winner, and a career 31-1 record
Coaches I Love
- Charlie Spoonhour: the 93-95 Billikens officially turned me into a hoops addict
- Lovie Smith: Just Google “Lovie Smith Beard”
- Tony Larussa: The resume speaks for itself. Also, we got drunk on wine together at a now defunct Lumiere Casino SteakHouse,
- Dave Neier: The Hall of Famer from Borgia High has led his Knights to“nine Final Four berths, five MSHSAA state championships (1993, 1994, 1998, 2006, 2009) and 24 district titles. The state titles are tied with four others for fourth-most in state history. Plus, dude was really cool to me when I was in High School…and coached my buddies, and the two guys with the wettest jumpers I’ve ever played with, Dave Birk and Fontbonne HOF’er Steve King.
Honorable mention to Lisa Stone, Whitey Herzog, and Dick Vermeil
The Ultimate STL Sports Mount Rushmore
- Stan Musial
- JoJo White
- Jackie Joyner Kersee
- Brett Hull
Food and Bev time!
Am I going to piss a lot of you off? Yes. Yes I am. I know you’re all “foodies”, but I LIKE WHAT I LIKE.
I did, in my defense, reach out to friends in the food and bev industry for guidance, so this all isn’t just me…but it mostly is…but the one that really ticks you off…that’s probably Brian Marsden’s choice 😉
We start with my downfall and my great love…
- Vincent Van Doughnut: THE BEST DOUGHNUTS ON THE PLANET
- Missouri Baking Company: The history and variety is unparalleled
- Sugar Bot Sweet Shop: You need to get there
- New Day Gluten Free: How they make Gluten Free baked goods that don’t taste like dust and instead taste like heaven is unbelievable.
Honorable mentions to Nathaniel Reid (just a tad fancy for this fella), Whisk, and Pie Oh My! All are so damn good…
- Heavy Riff Brewing Company: The best beer I have ever tasted in my goddamn life. Curbside pick-up?? What god did I please?
- Schlafly: Consistent and delicious.
- 2nd Shift: Great variety, taste, and everyone I know that really knows beer really likes them.
- Budweiser: I’ve had a Budweiser on Guam and I’ve had one in St. Louis…and they taste exactly the same. That is incredible.
Honorable mentions to Side Project, Urban Chestnut, Lemp, and Narrow Gauge
- Courtesy Diner on Hampton. The wife and I eat here every week. She’s the boss. Period. Plus the lady that works the breakfast grill on the weekend is an absolute badass.
- Las Palmas in Maplewood. Traditional Trio. Try it, then come ABC me about it.
- Good Buddy’s Downtown. These are the best sandwiches on the planet. THE PLANET.
- Scottish Arms. Scotch, then Scotch eggs, then Shepherd’s Pie, then Guinness…this isn’t that hard.
Honorable mentions to Drunken Fish, The Dam, 3 Kings, and the Hotdog guy at Home Depot in Maplewood
And now people really get pissed…
- The Black Thorn. I am right. Also, do yourself a favor and read their last few FB posts.
- Frank and Helen’s: Pizza and fried chicken??? Are we humans even deserving of such an Eden?
- Twin Oak: Look…hear me out…their happy hour is half off pizza. HALF off. Plus the smoked wings are on point
- Imo’s: Yeah…they’re on the Mountain. Ya know why? Because it’s effing delicious after 11 whiskey and diets on a summer afternoon after watching Mike Leake get lit up like the 4th of July.
Andy Describes it perfectly here…
Local Watering Holes
I have done my fair share of “research” over the past 15 years, but I did reach out for some expertise from my leadoff man Stephen Nations. This is the final list we have compiled.
- Arena Bar: Money for Guns’ home bar, the heaviest pours, and the best owners. Period.
- Stan’s Bar: A perfect St. Louis neighborhood bar. Sports, cold beer, and great folks…Plus, Dick Buttry doing karaoke after 4 whiskeys will make your night
- Nick’s Pub: We’ve all spent waaay too little money on waaay too much booze there. And, Town Drunks trivia…need I say more??
- The Hideaway: It’s worth it just for the sign out front.
Rock n’ Roll and Jazz
- Chuck Berry: Maybellene is still the most perfect rock n’ roll song ever written.
- Jay Farrar: Critically acclaimed everything. Amazing voice, amazing songwriter, and underrated guitar slinger.
- Fontella Bass: Go to Spotify right now and plug her name in.
- Miles Davis: No explanation needed.
Honorable mention to Brian Henneman and Oliver Sain…man I wish I had a 5th…just listen to this.
Hip Hop: These picks are courtesy of DJ Montaigne. I have nothing to add as my hip-hop knowledge is non-existent
- Sylk Smoov
- Nato Caliph
- Tef Poe
Honorable Mention to Ram Luv, Early D, and Black Pearl Mafia
Ok…I am getting pretty tired…after taking a month off of writing such in-depth pieces I’m not sure how much I have left in the tank….but, I’ll pump out a few more random Mount Rushmores.
These are all based on how much I love running in them.
- Forest Park
- Tower Grove Park
- Queeny Park
- Castlewood State Park
- The St. Louis Zoo
- The St. Louis Arch
- The Missouri Botanical Garden
- The City Museum
Okay…that’s it…those are the lists. My hands hurt and I’m tired of Googling things. I hope we all learned a little something here today and become closer as a result. Feel free to light up the message board like Aramis Ramirez lit up every Cardinal pitcher of the 21st century.
Until next time…Long live Ray Lankford.