Home Editor's Picks Arch Rival Recap: Smashies & M-80s Net Home Opener WIns

Arch Rival Recap: Smashies & M-80s Net Home Opener WIns

by Brian Ledford

(BALLWIN, MO) Despite a snow ball thrown by Mother Nature Saturday night, Arch Rival Roller Derby held their local season opener at Midwest Sport Hockey at Queeny Park. The ensuing action was melting as close to 800 points were collectively scored by the four squads.

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

In the opener, defending League champions, the Smashinistas, out-dueled Rebel Skate Alliance, 204-169. In the nightcap, the M-80s bested the Stunt Devils, 231-179.

With victories, both the Smashies and the M-80s share top honors in the ARCH standings. The regular season continues on Saturday, February 1.


Heading in, each team saw a pivotal jammer absent from the rotation, but both were able to utilize their depth of bench to fulfill the gap. The end result saw the defending champs claim a third straight win over their intergalactic adversary.

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

In the opening period’s first nine minutes, the Smashies accumulated a 32-20 lead but then RSA countered with a 9-2 jam helmed by Admiral Aggbar that whittled the margin to five points, 32-29.

The Smashinistas then went full throttle and churned a 48-10 rally over the next four rotations. Following Frowntown’s 28-4 jam recorded at the 15:50 mark, the defending champs boosted their lead to 78-39.

RSA began chipping away at the lead and with newcomer PhoeB-8’s dozen point strike with nine minutes left in the period, the differential sat at thirty points, 85-55.

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

The Smashies’ blocking schema, paced by co-captains Cloak N’ Drag-Her and Gnarley Carbsmashian as well as Intensive Carrot, Urgent Carrot, Nigel Smashberry, WyldeSyde, Oliver Smash, Regrets, Shady Hawkins Skulpix and T-Bex, anchor a 29-8 run down the stretch that resulted in a 114-63 lead at intermission.

In the second period, RSA’s blocking battalion of Obi-Wan Kenosebleed, Jabba the Butt, Zombie Plagueis, Wookie Monster, Lethal Dose, SITH HAPPENS!, Titanium Falcon Strawberry MILFShake, Jam-It Ginger and Holiday Special were able to keep the Smashies’ Frowntown in check while providing open holes for their quartet of jammers that included Carth ONasty and Bricktator.

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

Meanwhile, the Smashies found solid rotations from both Skeevie Nicks and Smash Money.

RSA made their closest comeback with 7:20 left following Bricktator’s 12-point jam that narrowed the score to 161-123.

Soon the Smashinistas began implementing the winning formula that resulted in their 2019 trophy hoist. Strategic time management, as well as another 28-point jam from Frowntown with under two minutes left, secured the win.

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

Despite being outscored by RSA in the second period, 106-90, the halftime cushion helped the Smashies claim the 204-169 triumph.

The defending champs aim for their second win of the season, and sole possession of first place in the four-team hierarchy, when they compete against the Stunt Devils on Saturday, February 1.

RSA is idle until Saturday, February 29.

M-80s 231   STUNT DEVILS 179

The M-80s, who finished third in 2019, had a dozen players return to their franchise this season.

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

Conversely, one needed a clipboard to track the Stunt Devils, who had over half of their line-up not rostered with the team mere months ago.

Perhaps familiarity was the key to the M-80s‘ 52-point win that netted them a first-place tie in the ARCH standings.

The first three jams resulted in a pair of lead changes as L’Oakey Doki’s dozen-point chopper in Jam 3 resulted in a 20-12 advantage for the M-80s.

This launched a 32-4 push. Slipknot added a four-pointer to the column on the next jam and Doki’s 16-4 rotation completed the rally that widened the lead to 40-16 seven minutes in.

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

The Stunts, aided by the blocking of Rhonda Lousy, Black Dynamite, Sir Ian McKillin’, Downtown Dallis, Rock Slobster, Shiv Tyler, Skaty Perry, Tina Faceplant, Bette Davis Thighz and Thrasher, forged a 20-9 rebound and trailed by a baker’s dozen, 49-36, midway through the period.

In the back half of the first period, M-80s’ blocking, propelled by Scouts Horror, Pecan Misandry, Slam Shakusky, Crumbledore, Curl Scout, Wood Bang, Fart & Crafts, Betty White Trash, Trampfire, Soundproof, Jenforcer Kick S’More Ass, helped the jamming trio of Doki, Slipknot and Camp Kwitcherbitchin cobble  an overwhelming 96-35 run that resulted in a 135-71 advantage at intermission.

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

The Stunt Devils, already missing a key jammer prior to the season opener, knew they had to make some serious adjustments if they wanted to keep the game respectable on the scoreboard at final whistle.

To their credit, they did and a 42-23 launch helped their cause. Jammers Force Choke, Slamgelina Jolie and Zoe Hell, who been held to single-pass scoring jams the first period, began to collectively find their groove and notch a plethora of eight-pointers in the second half. This helped the Stunts whittle the lead to 158-113.

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

Both teams scored comparable points as the period progressed, which made it difficult for the Stunts to mount an effective comeback.

The M-80s topped the bicentennial mark following Doki’s 28-20 jam with 11:45 remaining that made the score 204-149.

Much like the ARCH opener, the team that trailed at intermission outscored the inevitable victor as the Stunts valiantly posted a 108-96 second-half output. And again like the first game, the mid-point cushion was helpful as the M-80s claimed the 231-179 topper that resulted in their inaugural victory in 2020.

The M-80s are idle until Saturday, February 29. Meanwhile the Stunts, perhaps with full team in tow, face the Smashinistas on Saturday, February 1.

For more information on Arch Rival Roller Derby, visit their official website.



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By trade, he is a six-time, regional Emmy Award-winning news videographer/editor for KTVI/KPLR-TV. By hobby, he is a writer for Arch City Media, dating back to February 2014. Emphasis is on featuring and promoting local women's sports, but will cover anything that is not reported by traditional media outlets. Also a contributor to local concert reviews.

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