Home Other Smashies & Friends Survive To Claim Flat-Track Derby Victories

Smashies & Friends Survive To Claim Flat-Track Derby Victories

by Brian Ledford

(BALLWIN, MO) At their respective leagues’ local season midpoints, the defending champions for both Arch Rival Roller Derby (ARCH) and GateKeepers Roller Derby (GKRD) possess unblemished records.

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

This is a result of Saturday’s flat-track outcomes at Midwest Sport Hockey that saw the Smashinistas top the M-80s, 242-191, in the women’s opener and the Central West Friends upend the Creve Coroners, 182-169, in the men’s nightcap.

The victorious squads on quads, both 2-0 in local play, look to maintain their perfect ledgers when action resumes for the six-event regular season at Queeny Park on Saturday, February 24.

ARCH: SMASHINISTAS 242   M-80s 191

Although the defending champs netted a 50-point-plus triumph, the team would be the first to tell you that they survived Saturday’s showdown with the red-flannels. Significantly trailing at intermission, the Smashies chipped away at the deficit in the second period’s first ten minutes.

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

Possessing a one-point lead midway through the frame, the gang in green reigned supreme with a 41-6 rally that propelled victory and obtained sole possession of first place in the ARCH standings.

Tied 13-13 after two jams, the Smashinistas claimed a 21-13 lead following Flash’s eight-point strike in the game’s third rotation. The lead was short lived as M-80s’ lynchpin Shoulder, CO posted a 12-3 collection on the next flight that gave the loggers a 25-24 edge with 22:25 left in the first period.

Paced by blockers Smarty McFly, Cloak N’ Drag-Her, Hero-Shima and Professor Rumbledore, the Smashies regained the lead in Jam 5 as Bolt Action struck with an even-strength 24-pointer at the 20:15 mark, resulting in a 48-25 scoreboard flip.

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

As the Smashinistas maintained a 58-39 lead as the period progressed, they soon found themselves perpetually mired in a penalty funk and the M-80s capitalized quickly and repeatedly.

With blocking paced by BEECH, PLEASE!, Lumberjam, Snoop Dogwood, Fiona Crabapple, Ginger, Jenny Loggins, Sumack Down, Megabirch, Chop It Like It’s Hot, Maul Bunyan, Sequoia Destro-ya and Fight Shrub, the mateys scored 40 uncontested points and eventually finished the period’s final ten minutes with a 74-20 swing.

Launched during the aforementioned deficit, Shoulder, CO took advantage of a pair of power jams and recorded 30 points with 10:20 left, resulting in a 69-58 lead change in favor of the M-80s. Twig E. Smalls followed with a 10-point power jam on the next rotation that pushed the score to 79-58.

Down the stretch, the M-80s continued their dam construction on the Smashies’ offense, and following Shoulder’s nine-point collection on the period’s final sprint, the loggers held an eye-opening 113-78 lead at intermission.

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

Facing a 35-point deficit against a hard-charging opponent, the Smashies could have either fought or fled in the early stages of the second half. They opted for the former and a 40-0 rally ensued over four jams.

Blocking by Girl Fawkes, Spock N’ Roll, Rock Slobster, Holliver Fist, Outlaw Josie Wheels and Poison Ivy assisted the comeback’s process. Launched by Bolt Action’s eight-point opening jam, accented by Vicious Van GoGo’s 23-point power jam at the 26:50 mark and concluded by Flash’s niner in Jam 3, the Smashies flipped the scoreboard to their favor, 118-113 with 25:20 left in the game.

Greenish good vibes were quickly thwarted as Shoulder notched a grand slam for the M-80s on the next rotation, resulting in a 118-118 tie.

By obtaining lead and capitalizing on M-80s’ penalties, the Smashies accumulated a 32-13 output on the next two jams a built a 150-131 lead with 19:20 left.

The M-80s then flipped the script and shot the plot by notching a power jam. With Shoulder’s 18-pointer recorded with 17:25 left, the Smashies’ lead was narrowed down to a solo point, 150-149.

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

The Smashinistas then produced their three-jam, 41-6 game changer. Highlighted by Van GoGo’s 19 and 20-point jams, the Smashies cobbled a 191-155 lead with 11:40 left.

To their credit, the M-80s refused to wave the white flag and shored the score to 200-183 following Shoulder’s 23-point power jam with 6:30 left. The Smashies quickly slammed the door on any potential comeback with five minutes left with Van GoGo’s 28-point backbreaker that resulted in a 228-183 score.

The defending champs impressively outscored the M-80s in the second period, 164-78, en route to the 242-191 win that netted possession of the top spot of ARCH hierarchy.

Van GoGo and Bolt Action collected 113 and 82 points, respectively, for the Smashinistas, who continue their local play on Saturday, February 24 against the Stunt Devils (1-1) at Midwest Sport Hockey. In the pair’s season-opening meeting last December, the Smashies claimed a 177-168 win.

Shoulder, CO topped the M-80s’ ledger with 146 points. The squad (0-2) will be idle until March 17.

For more information on Arch Rival Roller Derby, go to their official link.


SMASHINISTAS (242): Vicious VanGoGo 113, Bolt Action 82, Flash 28, Holliver Fist 18, Cloak N’ Drag-Her 6.

M-80s (191): Shoulder, CO 146, Twig E. Smalls 18, Big Red 10, Snoop Dogwood 10, BEECH, PLEASE! 4, Lumberjam 3.

Here is the post-game interview with the Smashies’Vicious Van GoGo and the M-80’s BEECH, PLEASE!!! and Shoulder, CO.


Saturday’s battle of unbeatens was arguably one of the best local men’s games in recent memory as drama was perpetual for the entire sixty minutes.

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

To wit, the game had thirteen lead changes overall and was deadlocked on the scoreboard with seven minutes remaining. The Friends utilized a 20-0 rally late to snare their second win of the season and grab the top spot of the GKRD Turf Wars standings.

Trailing 20-5 six jams deep, the Creve Coroners posted 18 points uncontested to claim lead.  Following Magnum P.I.M.P.’s 14-power jam at the 21:20 mark, co-captain Shred Astaire followed with a four-point pass that resulted in 23-20 scoreboard flip with 20:20 left in the period.

The Friends responded with a 22-0 rally over the next five jams. Accented with Bruno Scars’ 15 collection midway, CWF sported a 42-23 advantage with 15:30 left in the period.

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

With blocking paced by Double Excel, Boney Fangers, Hulk, Specs, Wreck Appeal, Beddes and Otter Nonsense, the Coroners countered 38-9 run.  Rookie Jammy Pacquiao started the stretch with a 10-pointer, Magnum followed with a 14-9 non-lead power jam with 11:10 left and Astaire finished with an even-strength 14-pointer that gave the medics a 61-51 advantage with 9:20 left in the period.

The Friends’ eleven uncontested points followed and the game saw its fifth lead change occur with 6:05 remaining in the frame following Bower Ranger’s seven-point jam that resulted in a 66-61 score.

Down the stretch, the stem winder continued with a pair of scoreboard flips and with Bower Ranger’s 14-pointer collected in the half’s final rotation, the Friends held an 85-72 lead at intermission.

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

In the early stages of the second period, CWF’s blocking contingent – consisting of Percy Controll, SoGo, Cpt. Kramerica, Fruit Wall-Up, Quadratic Evasion, The Great Stromboli, Yoshi, and Thrillhouse – continued to provide an anchor. Four minutes deep, the Friends maintained a 94-80 lead.

In Jam 5, the Coroners netted a power jam and capitalized as Magnum netted a 19-pointer, resulting in a 99-94 lead change with 23:15 left in the game.

As the period progressed, the slobber knocker contained multiple ebbs and flows. Much like a heavyweight prize fight, both teams traded punches and, inevitably, the lead on the scoreboard.

Trailing 158-143 heading into Jam 16, the Friends’ claimed lead and obtained a power jam, resulting in Bower Ranger’s 15-pointer that tied the score 158-158 with seven minutes left.

On the next jam, the Coroners’ Astaire claimed lead and scored four that resulted in Creve Coeur’s 162-158 advantage with 6:35 left.

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

It was at this moment that the Friends became unfriendly and posted the 20-0 push that resulted in victory. Last Rites began the stretch with an eight-pointer with 5:20 left that resulted in a 166-162 lead change. Bower Ranger followed with a grand slam with 4:30 left that widened the score to 171-162. Scars added a seven with 3:45 that expanded the differential.

Team scoring was tied in the second period, 97-97, but the baker’s dozen lead that the Friends held at halftime held up, resulting in the defending champs’ 182-169 victory over the Creve Coroners and standings’ supremacy.

Bower Ranger paced the Friends (2-0) with 73 points followed by Scars’ 38 and now aim to keep their undefeated streak intact as they face the Raiders of Forest Park (0-2) in three weeks.

The Coroners (1-1) currently sit in second place in the GKRD standings and are idle until March 17.

For more information on GateKeepers Roller Derby, go to their official link.


CENTRAL WEST FRIENDS (182): Bower Ranger 73, Bruno Scars 38, Last Rites 31, Great Stromboli 4.

CREVE CORONERS (162): Magnum P.I.M.P. 82, Shred Astaire 38, Jammy Pacquiao 33, Boney Fangers 13.

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By trade, he is a six-time, regional Emmy Award-winning news videographer/editor for KTVI/KPLR-TV. By hobby, he is an announcer and digital content producer for St. Louis-based Arch Rival Roller Derby. Also a webcast announcer for post-season roller derby tournaments on wftda.tv. Yep, this Illinoisan primarily writes about derby, covering Arch Rival, the St. Chux Derby Chix and the STL GateKeepers men's league. He also writes about St. Louis SLAM Women's Football, St. Louis Lions women's soccer and other sports topics.

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