Home Editor's Picks Arch Rival Results: RSA Claims Title Berth, Smashies Roll

Arch Rival Results: RSA Claims Title Berth, Smashies Roll

by Brian Ledford

(BALLWIN, MO) The results of last night’s twin bill for St. Louis-based Arch Rival Roller Derby saw upward trends for the squads on quads that are on the top-half of the League’s four-team local complexion.

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

In front of 750 at Midwest Sport Hockey, Rebel Skate Alliance topped the M-80s in the opener, 191-101, to remain undefeated while the Smashinistas bested the Stunt Devils, 190-110, in the nightcap to retain second place in the standings.

With their victory, RSA (4-0) clinched automatic entry to ARCH’s April 27 trophy game. The League’s six-event regular season continues Saturday, March 16 at the Queen Park sports court. Discounted tickets are already on sale at this website.


Prior to the first whistle, the M-80s already knew they had a mighty challenge ahead. Not only were they facing a dominant squad that had added talented skaters via a mid-season supplemental draft but they would also be missing their top-scoring jammer L’Oakey Doki, who collected 156 points in her last game, as well a top-flight blocker Special Brownies.

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

While Doki’s absence was wisely taken a pass due to a tweaked knee and Brownies’ was based due to exploration, the end results meant roster re-shaping for the red rollers. Newly drafted returnee Dad Bod helped contribute to the M-80s staying close in the opening minutes.

Then Rebel Skate Alliance put into motion the game plan that had been prevalent in their first three successful outcomes this season. A balanced scoring attack combined with a lockdown defense. Jammer Boba Flash notched a 16-point rotation in Jam 6 that grew RSA’s lead to 51-14.

The midway through the period, the Rebels claimed back-to-back power jams that widened the differential. Flash’s eight-pointer tallied with 15:00 left pushed the score to 68-30 and Darth Tator added 11 on the next rotation that resulted in a 79-30 score.

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

Simultaneously, RSA blocking held the M-80s’ jammers at bay. With collective work from Endorable!, Storm Bruiser, Han Rolo, Obi-Wan Kenosebleed, Jabba the Butt, Yoda Blow, Spock N’ Roll, Zombie Plagueis, Wookie Monster, Lethal Dose, SITH HAPPENS! and Titanium Falcon, the M-80s were held to 10 points scored in the first half’s final twelve minutes.

Following newcomer Indiana Bones’ final rotation on clock’s expiration, RSA possessed a 128-40 lead at intermission

To their credit, the M-80s refused to wave the white flag in the second period and almost matched the unbeatens point-for-point.

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

With multi-lap scoring passes by Owl Wing It!, Scouts Horror, Lucy Fir and Scouts Horror, the M-80s continued to stay competitive on the scoreboard. Blocking provided by Pecan Misandry, Slam Shakusky, Crumbledore, Curl Scout, Wood Bang, S’more Cowbell, Merit Badger and Trampfire effectively held RSA to their lowest period point total this season.

Although they barely edged the M-80s in scoring in the second half (63-61), RSA’s halftime cushion resulted in the 191-101 victory that catapulted into the squad’s title game appearance, their first since their 2011 inaugural campaign. Aggbar topped Rebel scoring with 72 points.

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

Meanwhile the M-80’s was paced by Horror’s 40 points and one can immediately assume that this team will be at high levels when the Doki and Brownies return in a St. Patty’s Day weekend tussle with the Smashinistas.


RSA (191): Admiral Aggbar 72, Boba Flash 63, Darth Tator 48, Indiana Bones 7

M-80s (101): Scouts Horror 40, Owl Wing It! 24, Dad Bod 22, Slipknot 9, Lucy Fir 7, Camp Kwitcherbitchin’ 4


The final score might be a bit of a misnomer. The defending champion Stunts certainly came to play, the Smashies were heavily armed with veterans and new additions, and the scoring was tight early. The game was ultimately decided on a 48-4 Smashies’ stretch run that covered the respective ending and opening jams of each period.

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

Leading 9-3 five minutes in, the Smashies used a four-point pass from Skeevie Nicks that was followed by Frowntown’s six-pointer with 22;10 left that widened their lead to 19-3.

The Stunts countered with Scarrie Fisher’s eight pointer that shored the score to 19-11 at the 20:50 mark. Nicks claimed four on the next rotation for the Smashies’ push to 23-11.

The Stunt Devils then claimed a dozen straight. Slamgelina Jolie’s four-point pass claimed at 18:15 was followed by newly-added Mya Pinion’s eight that tied the score 23-23 with 15:10 left in the period.

The Smashies quickly quelled the rush as Nicks’ seven in Jam 12 was followed by Frowntown’s four and Smashing Violet’s three that resulted in their 37-23 lead at the 12:10 mark.

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

As the period continued, the Stunts chipped away at the differential and narrowed the score to a dozen points, 45-34, following Fisher’s seven-pointer with 7:30 left.

Then the aforementioned Smashies’ dominant run began, propelled by the blocking of Cloak N’ Dragher, Gnarley Carbsmashian, Smash Me Ousside, Oliver Smash, Smashsquatch, chill beans, CQ, Nigel Smashberry, WyldeSyde, Smash Money and the Monster Smash.

A trio of four-pointers began the push that resulted in a 56-34 score following the period’s penultimate jam. Then the Smashies’ claimed their first power jam of the contest and capitalized with Frowntown’s 12-4 half-closing rotation that widened the score to 72-38 at intermission.

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

The momentum continued in the opening jams of the second and with Violet’s 15-point strike in Jam 2, the Smashies lead grew to 89-38. Nicks’ grand slam put the exclamation point on their 40-plus point run that resulted in a 93-38 score with 25:00 left.

As the period progressed, huge jams from Violet, Nicks and Frowntown netted 21, 15 and 15 points, respectively, and the scoreboard read 155-62 with 12:15 left.

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

The Stunts did rebound and calmly put together a nice stretch run that made the final differential respectable considering the frustrations experienced earlier. Blockers Kill-ya Knightly, Force Choke, Black Dynamite, Ginger, Reese Wither(n’Die)Spoon, Fast ‘n’ Lucy Liu, Kat, Nunchucks Norris, Sir Ian McKillin’ and Glenn Close But No Cigar was able to help Rhonda Lousey gain a pair of plus-16 jams in the game’s backstretch. Toni Smaxton also provided additional help in the late-game purple power.

The Smashinistas outscored the Stunt Devils 118-72 in the second period for the 190-110 triumph and retained sole possession of second place in the standings with a 3-1 record. Frowntown topped team scoring with 86 points.

The Stunt Devils are now faced with must-win situations for the remainder of the season if they want to mathematically have a chance of successfully defending their title in April. The missive begins with a return meeting with Rebel Skate Alliance on March 16.


SMASHINISTAS (190): Frowntown 86, Smashing Violet 56, Skeevie Nicks 48 chill beans 4.

STUNT DEVILS (110): Scarrie Fisher 45, Rhonda Lousey 34, Mya Pinion 18, Toni Smaxton 7, Slamgelina Jolie 6

For more information on ARCH, go to their website.

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