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Billikens Victorious In Battle Versus Troy

by W.E. Sauls

For Homer’s words they are still cloaked in mystery. The city of Troy has been discovered, but the events therein…they shall remain with the dust and the sand. As for poor Achilles, he made it not to the fair city on the river. For St. Louis was left to its devices. And those devices, basketball.

A chill took the breath of the evening air as I strode towards the coliseum. The battle was to be one for the ages. The men from Troy arrived, dressed in black and the color of blood. They came to take the home court from the heroes of the Gateway. The Billikens came to the battlefield assured they would be victorious, for they were dressed in the color of the light…a pure white.

Events of the battle began well, occurring on what could only be described as a field made completely of polished wood. The young warrior Gordon took his man at will to what the young people called “the hoop.” “Easy 2!!” they screamed. But it would all not be so easy…the men from Troy could throw their daggers from deep. The first half of the encounter was back and forth. All men poured sweat and seemed to have ceaseless energy. Where is came from is known only to the Gods themselves.

The early events are hard to recount. There were bodies flying to and fro. The General Ford, experienced in battles decades ago, hollered numbers and phrases that changed the movements of all men at an instant. But in was not enough in the first half of the contest. The visitors, hostile as they were, seemed to do whatever they pleased. Points accomplished from far, more achieved as close as your nose before your eyes.

Would there be a hero? Or, like Sisyphus, would the Billikens be destined to days of struggle with no end in sight? The first half of battle ended with men of Troy in the lead by one half dozen. What would the second half hold? Heed my words…for what you are about to read is the truth as I saw it with mine own eyes…

The giant…the one they call French, assisted his fellow men on consecutive plays to begin the second…and final half of battle…a man of his stature…to aid in this way is something one rarely sees. But the men of Troy showed no signs of relenting. On either end of the “court” they left barely a breath of space between themselves and the men of St. Louis. To say the battle was tight would be a statement of no hyperbole.

The remainder of the battle was quite sloppy. Neither team seemed to want to handle the “rock” with care. It was tossed about willie nillie. Control was slowly drained from the Billiken men. But what was that? In the distance….why t’was the young warrior Gordon. The spark he lit shown bright in the “lane.” Then the new recruit Isabell visited the bank from deep, and the Wiley one did so as well within thirty seconds…I jest you not. The men in white took back command with a mere 4:49 left in the contest…would it last, or was this a mere lightning bolt from Zeus? A flash and nothing more?

Then the captain, the steady one, the one they call JB inflicted damage of his own…could it be? Could the men of St. Louis being snatching victory from the iron clad jaws of defeat? Several pauses in action were called for by the generals and the battle seemed to slow to the pace of a mule trudging through the mud near the shores of the Aegean.

The action quickly escalated with the previous year’s recruit, the Goodwin, attacking from so far away I know not how he saw the goal. Then, slowly, the skies began to clear. The men from Troy began their retreat. Flailing and fouling their way back to their homes. The Billiken men accepted the charity from fifteen feet away and put to rest the evening’s affairs.

The full conclusion was delayed by the black and white striped ones. They stared into an illuminated box for what seemed to be a dozen minutes to decide concerns that hardly seemed pertinent. But, from those near me in the “stands” these striped men received insults against their character and eye sight. A chuckle I did have.

In the end Sir Isabell ended things and the Billikens enjoyed a sound victory by a tally of 62-58. Huzzah for the battle was won on such a Saturday night!

Until we meet again, long live the assault from deep!

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